They Claim Red Meat Is Bad For

Golf Is The Most Fun You Can Have With Out Taking Your Clothes Off.

The Best Wood In Most Amateurs' Bags Is The Pencil.

After All These Years, It's Still Embarrassing For Me To Play On The American Golf Tour. Like The Time I Asked My Caddie For A Sand Wedge And He Came Back Ten Minutes Later With A Ham On Rye.

I Don't Exaggerate - I Just Remember Big.

Somebody Give Me A Banana. I'm Playing Like A Monkey, So I Might As Well Eat Like One.