There's No Such Thing As 'too Late!'

I Never Worked With Marilyn Monroe, But If She'd Lived, I Think She Would Have Been All Right. She Would Have Been President Of The United States.

I Have More Talent In My Smallest Fart Than You Have In Your Entire Body.

I Could Play A Cop, I Could Play A Crook, I Could Play A Lawyer, I Could Play A Dentist, I Could Play An Art Critic-i Could Play The Guy Next Door. I Am The Guy Next Door. I Could Play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As A Matter Of Fact, When I Did The Odd Couple, I Would Do It A Different Way Each Night. On Monday I'd Be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-german-and I Would Mix Them Up. I Did That To Amuse Myself, And It Always Worked.

My Doctor Gave Me Six Months To Live, But When I Couldn't Pay The Bill He Gave Me Six Months More.

We're Writing A Book Together. She Just Finished One. Did You Read It? Among The Porcupines?