I Always Had One Ear Offstage, Listening

I Wanted To Be A Pharmacist. I Liked The Way Our Local Pharmacist Was Always Dressed In A Nice White Coat; He Looked Very Calm, You'd Give Him Money, And He'd Give You Something That You Wanted To Buy.

My Doctor Gave Me Six Months To Live, But When I Couldn't Pay The Bill He Gave Me Six Months More.

I Have More Talent In My Smallest Fart Than You Have In Your Entire Body.

You See, My Father Was A Catholic Priest, Greek Orthodox, But I Think He Started Out As A Jew, Then He Became A Catholic Priest.

I Always Had One Ear Offstage, Listening For The Call From The Bookie.