There's More To Life Than Making Shallow,

Everybody Lies About Sex. People Lie During Sex. If It Weren't For Lies, There'd Be No Sex.

The Best Revenge Is Living Well.

I Have A Friend Who's Collecting Unemployment Insurance. This Guy Has Never Worked So Hard In His Life As He Has To Keep This Thing Going. He's Down There Every Week, Waiting On The Lines And Getting Interviewed And Making Up All These Lies About Looking For Jobs. If They Had Any Idea Of The Effort And Energy That He Is Expending To Avoid Work, I'm Sure They'd Give Him A Raise.

I Love Meeting Israeli People. They Look At Me Like A Son

All Magic Is 'here’s A Quarter, Now It’s Gone. You’re A Jerk. Now It’s Back. You’re An Idiot. Show’s Over.'