The Two Best Things You Can Do

If You Can Keep Your Son Off The Pipe And Your Daughter Off The Pole, You're Ahead Of The Game.

The Only Reaction That Frightens Me Is People Not Laughing. It's Extraordinary To Me When You Get A Laugh. That You Can Go In Front Of A Bunch Of People You Never Met Before, You Can Say Some Stuff And They All Laugh In Unison - That's Amazing. It's A Miracle.

You Don’t Need No Gun Control, You Know What You Need? We Need Some Bullet Control. Men, We Need To Control The Bullets, That’s Right. I Think All Bullets Should Cost Five Thousand Dollars… Five Thousand Dollars Per Bullet… You Know Why? Cause If A Bullet Cost Five Thousand Dollars There Would Be No More Innocent Bystanders.

I Was Raised To Believe That You Had To Do Things Better Than White People In Order To Succeed. The Old Black Shows Were Better Than The White Shows. "the Jeffersons" (1975) Was A Lot Better. "good Times" (1974) Was Way Funnier. "sanford And Son" (1972). Now, Though, Everyone Thinks We're Equal, So We Submit The Same Shit That Everyone Else Submits. And Then We Get Mad When They Won't Air It. You Got To Go Back To The Old Attitude Of It Has To Be Twice As Good.

If You Told Me Two Years I Would Miss The Greatest Basketball Game Ever To Hang Out With Nathan Lane, I'd Say, 'you're Crazy!'