The Surest Way To Make A Monkey

Breaking The Ice In The Pitcher Seems To Be A Feature Of The Early Lives Of All Great Men.

One Of The Great Natural Phenomena Is The Way In Which A Tube Of Toothpaste Suddenly Empties Itself When It Hears That You Are Planning A Trip, So That When You Come To Pack It Is Just A Twisted Shell Of Its Former Self, With Not Even A Cubic Millimeter Left To Be Squeezed Out.

I Suppose That One Of The Psychological Principles Of Advertising Is To So Hammer The Name Of Your Product Into The Mind Of The Timid Buyer That When He Is Confronted With A Brusk Demand For An Order He Can't Think Of Anything Else To Say, Whether He Wants It Or Not.

I Am Pretty Sure That, If You Will Be Quite Honest, You Will Admit That A Good Rousing Sneeze, One That Tears Open Your Collar And Throws Your Hair Into Your Eyes, Is Really One Of Life's Sensational Pleasures.

The English Language May Hold A More Disagreeable Combination Of Words Than "the Doctor Will See You Now." I Am Willing To Concede Something To The Phrase "have You Anything To Say Before The Current Is Turned On?" That May Be Worse For The Moment, But It Doesn't Last So Long. For Continued, Unmitigating Depression, I Know Nothing To Equal "the Doctor Will See You Now." But I'm Not Narrow-minded About It. I'm Willing To Consider Other Possibilities.