I Have Been Told By Hospital Authorities

I Can't Bring Myself To Say, 'well, I Guess I'll Be Toddling Along.' It Isn't That I Can't Toddle. It's Just That I Can't Guess I'll Toddle.

For Most Visitors To Manhattan, Both Foreign And Domestic, New York Is The Shrine Of The Good Time. "i Don't See How You Stand It," They Often Say To The Native New Yorker Who Has Been Sitting Up Past His Bedtime For A Week In An Attempt To Tire His Guest Out. "it's All Right For A Week Or So, But Give Me The Little Old Home Town When It Comes To Living." And, Under His Breath, The New Yorker Endorses The Transfer And Wonders Himself How He Stands It.

England And America Should Scrap Cricket And Baseball And Come Up With A New Game That They Both Can Play. Like Baseball, For Example.

Sunday Morning May Be Cheery Enough, With Its Extra Cup Of Coffee And Litter Of Sunday Newspapers, But There Is Always Hanging Over It The Ominous Threat Of 3 P.m., When The Sun Gets Around To The Back Windows And Life Stops Dead In Its Tracks.

I Can Remember The Day When All That A Professor Was Supposed To Do Was To Mark "c Minus" On Students' Examination Papers, Then Gohome To Tea. Nowadays They Seem To Feel That They Must Know Just How Much We (outside The University) Eat, What We Do With Our Spare Time, And How We Like Our Eggs.