The Super Bowl Isn't For Kids, I

Where Some People May See Loving Grandparents, I See A Pair Of Feckless Boobs Who Can't Drive, Take Way Too Long To Shop, And Don't Even Have The Most Basic Grasps On The New Technology. As A Staunch Supporter Of The Principles Of Darwinism, I Think That Advances In Modern Medicine Are Starting To Overrule The Survival Of The Fittest, And It's To Our [youngers'] Detriment.

It's Not So Much That I Write Well, I Just Don't Write Badly Very Often And That Passes For Good On Television.

I Just Wish We Knew A Little Less About His Urethra And A Little More About His Arms Sales To Iran.

Computers May Save Time But They Sure Waste A Lot Of Paper. About 98 Percent Of Everything Printed Out By A Computer Is Garbage That No One Ever Reads.

The Average Bright Young Man Who Is Drafted Hates The Whole Business Because An Army Always Tries To Eliminate The Individual Differences In Men.