Dogs Are Nicer Than People.

We Aren't Consistent In Our Treatment Of Animals.

Once You Pass Forty, A Dime Isn't Worth Bending Over To Pick Up If You Drop One.

If, On The Other Hand, Happiness Depends On A Good Breakfast, Flowers In The Yard, A Drink Or A Nap, Then We Are More Likely To Live With Quite A Bit Of Happiness.

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

It's Ridiculous For A Country To Get All Worked Up About A Game—except The Super Bowl, Of Course. Now That's Important.