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The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

Computers May Save Time But They Sure Waste A Lot Of Paper. About 98 Percent Of Everything Printed Out By A Computer Is Garbage That No One Ever Reads.

Let's Make A Statement To The Airlines Just To Get Their Attention. We'll Pick A Week Next Year And We'll All Agree Not To Go Anywhere For Seven Days.

People Like To Say, "you're Only As Old As You Feel," But It Isn't True. It's Just Something Old People Say To Make Themselves Feel Good About Their Age. You're As Old As You Are.

I Spent My First 50 Years Trying To Become Known As A Writer And The Next 30 Trying To Avoid Being Famous. I Walk Down The Street Or Go To A Football Game And People Shout, 'hey Andy'. I Hate That.