The Sofa Is The Enemy Of Productivity.

I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be A Master At Anything, But I Think That's A Mistake For Me Personally. I Don't Know How Much It's About The Journey, But It's More About The Process.

When They Were Naming Vitamins They Must Have Thought There Were Going To Be Way More Vitamins Than There Ended Up Being. Ok Let's Name These: Vitamin A, Vitamin B... Ok Man Slow Down We've Got A Lot To Cover Here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then They Got To E And They Were Like 'we're Pretty Much Done. We've Got All Those Damn B's. This Is Embarrassing. Let's Just Skip To K And Get The Hell Out Of Here.

I Ordered A Wake-up Call The Other Day. The Phone Rang And A Woman's Voice Said, 'what The Hell Are You Doing With Your Life?'

Use Crazy Glue And Nails To Turn A Rocking Chair Into Just A Chair That Looks Like A Rocking Chair.

How To Be A Bouncer: Be An Asshole; Stand Near A Door.