The Secret Of A Good Sermon Is

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

In What Other Business Can A Guy My Age Drink Martinis, Smoke Cigars And Sing? I Think All People Who Retire Ought To Go Into Show Business. I've Been Retired All My Life.

Take Care Not To Wear Stripes That Are Out Of Sync With Your Wrinkles.

Should I Be The One To Play God? We're Both About The Same Age, But We Grew Up In Different Neighborhoods.

If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe, You'd Cheat With Some Ugly Girl.