If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe,

I'd Rather Be Over The Hill Than Under It.

With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent Has No Place To Stink.

I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me Spill My Martini.

I Thought To Myself, 'why Not Write A Bestseller?' In The First Place, More People Buy Them And More People Read Them. You Make More Money And It Doesn’t Take Any More Time To Write A Bestseller Than It Does To Write A Book Nobody Buys.

If It's A Good Script I'll Do It. And If It's A Bad Script, And They Pay Me Enough, I'll Do It.