If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe,

I Look Better, Feel Better, Make Love Better And I'll Tell You Something Else....i Never Lied Better.

When Jack Benny Has A Party, You Not Only Bring Your Own Scotch, You Bring Your Own Rocks.

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

I Smoke Ten To Fifteen Cigars A Day. At My Age I Have To Hold On To Something.

The Happiest People I Know Are The Ones That Are Still Working. The Saddest Are The Ones Who Are Retired. Very Few Performers Retire On Their Own. It's Usually Because No One Wants Them. Six Years Ago Sinatra Announced His Retirement. He's Still Working.