Take Care Not To Wear Stripes That

When Asked In His Late 90s If His Doctor Knew He Still Smoked, Burns Said, 'no ... He's Dead.'

Let Me Get One Thing Straight; I'm Not An Authority On Sex, I'm More Of A Fan. I Think Sex Is Nice; No Family Should Be Without It. Of Course, There Are Other Things That Are Just As Important As Sex, Like Uh . . . Like Uh . . . Like . . . Uh . . . Well, I'll Think Of It Later.

In What Other Business Can A Guy My Age Drink Martinis, Smoke Cigars And Sing? I Think All People Who Retire Ought To Go Into Show Business. I've Been Retired All My Life.

Sex Has Been Around For A Long Time. You May Not Believe This, But It Was Around Before I Was.

A Young Mind In A Healthy Body Is A Wonderful Thing. Especially For An Old Man With An Open Night.