The Republicans Finally Got Some Good News

There Is Now A $5 Million Dollar Bounty On Osama Bin Laden. Which Marks The First Time In History There Has Ever Been A Bounty On A Guy's Head Who Wears Bounty On His Head.

Now There Are More Overweight People In America Than Average-weight People. So Overweight People Are Now Average. Which Means You've Met Your New Year's Resolution.

Saddam Hussein Has Invited Members From The U.s. Congress To Visit Iraq. Man How Stupid Is Hussein? If You Think Bush Had Incentive To Bomb Iraq Before, Imagine If Congress Was Over There.

I Was Going To Start Off Tonight With An Obama Joke But I Don't Want To Get Audited By The Irs.

A New Study Shows That The Child Population In San Francisco Is Dwindling And In Fact San Francisco Has The Smallest Share Of Children Of Any Major City In The United States. That's Odd, Huh? For Some Reason Couples In San Francisco Don't Seem To Be Reproducing As Much As Couples In Other Cities. Gee, I Wonder What The Problem Is There? You Think It Might Be Something In The Rice-a-roni?