There Is A Penalty For Trying To

President Bush Has Unveiled His First Campaign Commercial, Highlighting All Of His Accomplishes In Office. That's Why It's A 60-second Spot.

In A Speech Earlier Today President Bush Said If Iraq Gets Rid Of Saddam Hussein, He Will Help The Iraqi People With Food, Medicine, Supplies, Housing, Education - Anything That's Needed. Isn't That Amazing? He Finally Comes Up With A Domestic Agenda - And It's For Iraq. Maybe We Could Bring That Here If It Works Out.

The White House Softball Team Played The Pro-marijuana Lobbyists' Team And Lost 25-3. Still No Word Yet On Which Side President Obama Played For.

I Don't Mean To Harp On This, But It's Like The Networks Are A How-to Manual For Terrorists. You See Them On The News. This Reporter Is Standing Outside A Water Treatment Plant, Going, 'if They Poured The Poison Here It Could Wipe Out Thousands Because The Guard Is Off Duty From Noon Until 1 Every Day!'

Twenty-one Years Ago Today Saddam Hussein Was First Elected President Of Iraq And He Has Been Re-elected Ever Since. Apparently They Have The Same Electoral Process We Do, You Don't Need The Popular Vote To Win.