Remember To Never Answer A Phone During

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

Ten Years After The Chernobyl Accident, And Am I The Only One That's Disappointed? Still No Superheros.

It Had To Be Hammered Home Quite A Bit Because I Didn't See Any Humour In My Life At All.

There Was One Time Where I Failed To Perform Sexually. My Girlfriend Said To Me "oh Don't Worry, It Happens To A Lot Of Guys". Ok, There Are Two Things Wrong With That. First Of All Who Are These Other Guys?, And Second Of All If It's Happening To More Than One Of Us, Don't You Think It Could Be Your Fault?