The President Of Today Is Just The

I Often Put Boiling Water In The Freezer. Then Whenever I Need Boiling Water,i Simply Defrost It.

As A Well-known Great Man Would Have Said If He Had Thought Of It, "don't Go Around Offending People Just Because It Can Be Done Sitting Down."

It's Foolish To Bet On A Horse Without Talking To Him First. I Know It Seems Silly To Ask A Horse Who's Going To Win A Race - But It's No Sillier Than Asking Anyone Else.

This Country Needs Room To Grow And Expand. In All My Own Newspapers I Read Frightful Tales Of The Shameful Atrocities Being Perpetrated On Our Democratic Minorities In Maine And Vermont. My Patience Is Almost At An End, And If Provoked Much Further I Will Place Both Countries Under American Protection, Even If I Have To Send In My Tourists To Start Trouble So I'll Have To Send In A Force To Restore Order.

I Fully Realize That Every Promise I Make, The Republicans Will Double And The Democrats Will Redouble. They Think This Will Make Me Vulnerable, But They Don't Know I Have Some Tricks Up My Sleeve, Along With A Box Of Raisins To Munch On While I'm Waiting For The Returns To Come In.