The Only Women I Publicly Date Are

Yea, I've Got A Dream Too. It Involves Time-travel And A Rifle.

I Was Stuck In Traffic One Day And Just Kinda Thought It Would Be Funny To Masturbate. It Was Sunny And Clear Out, So I Was Worried One Of The Other Drivers Would See Me, But My Jeep Is Pretty High Off The Ground, So I Think No One Noticed. I Busted A Nut And Aimed It Down, Ruining My Tweety Bird Floor Mat. I Felt Kinda Stupid After And My Mom Kept Silent The Rest Of The Drive Home. It Was Awkward And I Regret It.

In New York, We Tip Everyone. We Tip Doormen, We Tip Cab Drivers, And We Tip Bartenders At The Bar. You'll Get Quite An Evil Eye If You Don't Leave A Tip At The Bar.

I'd Really Like To Give Back To The World, But Everything I've Achieved, I've Earned On My Own, So What's The Point?

People Always Tell Me I Should Run For President, But I Don't Think They'd Give Me Enough Time Off To Make My Films.