I Caught My Wife In Bed With

Back In High School, My Buddies Tried To Put The Make On Anything That Moved. I Told Them, Why Limit Yourselves?

I'm From Downer's Grove, Illinois. We Had A Blackout There The Other Day, But Fortunately The Police Made Him Get Back Into His Car Before He Got Too Far.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?