The More You Know The Less The

Don't Buy One Of Those Baby Intercoms. Babies Pretend To Be Dead. They're Bastards, And They Do It On Purpose.

Honestly Some Folk Will Take Offence At Anything, I Met A Bloke With No Legs This Morning While At The Bus Stop, All I Asked Was "how Are You Getting On?"

I Love Fishing. It's Transcendental Meditation With A Punchline.

I've Been Very Lucky Because I've Always Had Movies To Do. So If I Got Bored Between Shows A Movie Would Turn Up.

The Great Thing About Glasgow Is That If There's A Nuclear Attack It'll Look Exactly The Same Afterwards.