[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late]

My Advice To You, If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight: Don't Eat Anything That Comes In A Bucket. Buckets Are The Kitchen Utensils Of The Farmyard.

I Can't Believe In Christianity, But I Think Jesus Was A Wonderful Teacher.

If You Give People A Chance, They Shine.

I’m Actually Pale Blue: It Takes Me A Week Of Sunbathing To Turn White.

I Hate Those Earnest Tv Documentaries That Are The World According To People With Glasses Who Know Better Than You.