The Marines Gave Me A Really Strong

Nothing's Funny About Someone Who's Successful.

The Only Way I'd Need A Pain Reliever To Enjoy Sex Is If All Of My Fantasies Came True At The Same Time.

Things Don't Make Me Nearly As Happy As Talking And Having A Beer With My Friends. And That's Something Everyone Can Do.

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.

It Doesn't Matter How Smart You Are; To Audition For 'jeopardy,' You Just Have To Luck Out And Know What They're Asking You That Day.