The Lord Saved My Soul.

I Tell My Boys Not To Play Rough With Their Younger Sister. I Try To Teach Them What I Know Already: You're Never Going To Win An Argument With A Girl, So Just Let Her Have What She Wants!

We All Think That This Relationship Thing Is A Game Out Here. All I'm Saying To Women Is, "okay. If It's A Game, Here Are The Rules That We Play By".

The Truth Is I've Always Been A Christian. What's Amazing, Is That The Flaws That Come With Christianity Are Really Weird, Because Mine Have A Microphone And A Camera Attached To Them. Most People Don't Have To Live Under That Microscope.

All I'm Telling You To Do Is To Be Smart About It. Know That If This Man Isn't Looking For A Serious Relationship, You're Not Going To Change His Mind Just Because You Two Are Going On Dates And Being Intimate. You Could Be The Most Perfect Woman On The Lord's Green Earth-you're Capable Of Interesting Conversation, You Cook A Mean Breakfast, You Hand Out Backrubs Like Sandwiches, You're Independent (which Means, To Him, That You're Not Going To Be In His Pockets)-but If He's Not Ready For A Serious Relationship, He Going To Treat You Like Sports Fish.

Being On A Comedy Tour Is Like Traveling With Family, Everyone Is All Having A Great Time... Then All Of A Sudden It Turns Sour. One Thing Gets Said Out Of Turn, And Everyone Is On Everyone's Last Nerve. After An Hour Of Silence, We All Start Laughing About It.