Quote/unquote And You Can Quote Me On

True Love Is When You're Cheating On A Person But The Thought Of Them Still Makes Your Eyes Smile!

I Did Stand-up Comedy For Seventeen Years. I Need To Explore Other Things.

I'm In A New Club, By The Way. And I Don't Know If You're First Timers Like I Am, But I'm In The 'i Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have You Done That? Yeah, Good Times. I'm On The Phone And I Forget That I'm Using Shoulder Technique. Urinals Were Taken So I Went In To Use The Regular John. And As I'm Standing There, Mid-conversation, I'm Like 'are You Serious?' And It Just Started To Toboggan Right Down My Powerful Chest.

Anger Has A Way Of Seeping Into Every Other Emotion And Planting Itself In There.

Are There Glass Shards In My Anus?!