The Last Time I Played Golf With

Bigamy Is The Only Crime Where Two Rites Make A Wrong.

Ronald Reagan Is Not A Typical Politician Because He Doesn't Know How To Lie, Cheat, And Steal. He's Always Had An Agent For That.

I Was Lucky I Wasn't A Better Boxer, Or That's What I'd Be Now - A Punchy Ex-pug.

The Good News Is That Jesus Is Coming Back. The Bad News Is That He's Really Pissed Off.

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.