The Last Time I Played Golf With

The Good News Is That Jesus Is Coming Back. The Bad News Is That He's Really Pissed Off.

Timing Is The Essence Of Life, And Definitely Of Comedy.

President Eisenhower Has Given Up Golf For Painting. It Takes Fewer Strokes.

I Get Upset Over A Bad Shot Just Like Anyone Else. But It's Silly To Let The Game Get To You. When I Miss A Shot I Just Think What A Beautiful Day It Is. And What Pure Fresh Air I'm Breathing. Then I Take A Deep Breath. I Have To Do That. That's What Gives Me The Strength To Break The Club.

My Idea Of Christmas, Whether Old-fashioned Or Modern, Is Very Simple: Loving Others. Come To Think Of It, Why Do We Have To Wait For Christmas To Do That?