The Idiot Who Invented Instant Grits Also

If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About A Quart Low.

Elvis Is Dead And I Don't Feel So Good For Myself.

Let's All Start Walking More And Driving Less.

"have You Done Your Homework?" My Mother Would Ask. "i'll Do It Later." "you Will Do It Now, Young Man. I Don't Want You Winding Up On The Third Shift At Flagg-utica." Flagg-utica Was A Local Textile Plant. Somehow, I Never Could Figure How Failing To Read Three Chapters In My Geography Book About The Various Sorts Of Vegetation To Be Found In A Tropical Rain Forest Had Anything To Do With Facing A Life As A Mill Hand. But With Enough Guilt And Fear As Catalysts, You Can Read Anything, Even Geography Books And Deuteronomy.

Today's Sensitive Male Has Learned To Share In Open Frank Discussions About Relationships Like, "where The Hell Did You Get A Crazy Idea Like That? You Been Reading Redbook Again?"