The First Girl You Go To Bed

I Never Worked With Marilyn Monroe, But If She'd Lived, I Think She Would Have Been All Right. She Would Have Been President Of The United States.

My Doctor Gave Me Six Months To Live, But When I Couldn't Pay The Bill He Gave Me Six Months More.

I Wanted To Be A Pharmacist. I Liked The Way Our Local Pharmacist Was Always Dressed In A Nice White Coat; He Looked Very Calm, You'd Give Him Money, And He'd Give You Something That You Wanted To Buy.

Get Out Of Show Business. Its The Best Advice I Ever Got, Because Im So Stubborn That If Someone Would Tell Me That, I Would Stay In It To The Bitter End.

I Always Had One Ear Offstage, Listening For The Call From The Bookie.