The Cost Of Living Has Gone Up

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

I Must Have A Drink Of Breakfast.

The Work I'm Doing On The Screen Differs From That Of Anyone Else. My Comedy Is Of A Peculiar Nature...no Writers Have Been Developed Along The Lines Of My Type Of Comedy And This Is Why I Sometimes Have Differences With Writers, Supervisors And Directors Alike.

Just Like My Uncle Charlie Used To Say, Just Before He Sprung The Trap: He Said, "you Can't Cheat And Honest Man! Never Give A Sucker An Even Break Or Smarten Up A Chump!

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.