The Best Things In Life Are Silly.

Dilbert: You Joined The "flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I Believe The Earth Must Be Flat. There Is No Good Evidence To Support The So-called "round Earth Theory." Dilbert: I Think Christopher Columbus Would Disagree. Dogbert: How Convenient That Your Best Witness Is Dead.

The Children Are Our Future. And That Is Why, Ultimately, We're Screwed Unless We Do Something About It. If You Haven't Noticed, The Children Who Are Our Future Are Good-looking, But They Aren't All That Bright. As Dense As They Might Be, They Will Eventually Notice That Adults Have Spent All The Money, Spread Disease, And Turned The Planet Into A Smoky, Filthy Ball Of Death. We're Raising An Entire Generation Of Dumb, Pissed-off Kids Who Know Where The Handguns Are Kept. This Is Not A Good Recipe For A Happy Future.

The Marketing Department Uses Many Advanced Techniques To Match Products And Buyers In A Way That Mximizes Profits. For Example, They Give Away Keychains.

Large Corporations Welcome Innovation And Individualism In The Same Way The Dinosaurs Welcomed Large Meteors.

As You Know, The Best Way To Solve A Problem Is To Identify The Core Belief That Causes The Problem; Then Mock That Belief Until The People Who Hold It Insist That You Heard Them Wrong.