Everybody Is Somebody's Else's Weirdo

If I Had To Pick One Quality That Best Predicts Success (other Than Wanting To Be Successful) It Would Be The Willingness To Risk Embarrassment.

If I Liked Food And Disliked Exercise As Much As A 400 Pound Guy, I'd Be A 400 Pound Guy.

I Would Sometimes Sit In A Crowded Restaurant, And Say, 'you Know, I'm The Only Person In This Restaurant Who Can't Draw.'

The Maintenance Man Is Moving The Thermostat In Our Office Today. I Started Talking With Him About The

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.