Tell Me What You Need, And I'll

The Best Plan Now Is To Have As Many Bosses As Possible. I Call It Boss Diversity. If You Work For A Company And You Have One Boss And That Boss Doesn't Like You Or Wants To Get Rid Of You, You're In Trouble. But If You Work For Yourself, You Have Lots Of Bosses, Who Are Your Customers, And If A Few Of Them Decide They Don't Like You, That's Okay.

Recently I Quit Caffeine. My Doctor Seems To Think That 17 Diet Cokes Per Day Is Too Much. In Case You Ever Consider Getting Off Caffeine Yourself, Let Me Explain The Process. You Begin By Sitting Motionlessly In A Desk Chair. Then You Just Keep Doing That Forever Because Life Has No Meaning.

If You Spend All Your Time Arguing With People Who Are Nuts, You'll Be Exhausted And The Nuts Will Still Be Nuts.

On The Keyboard Of Life, Always Keep One Finger On The Escape Key.

Boss: I Just Heard That Light Travels Faster Than Sound. I'm Wondering If I Should Shout When I Speak, Just So My Lips Appear To Sync-up With My Words.