Your Shower Is Ready - I Turned

Dogbert: Scientists Have Discovered The Gene That Makes Some People Love Golf. Dilbert: How Can They Tell It's The Golf Gene? Dogbert: It's Plaid And It Lies.

Of Course I Don't Look Busy, I Did It Right The First Time.

The Best You Can Hope For In This Life Is That Your Delusions Are Benign And Your Compulsions Have Utility.

Recently I Quit Caffeine. My Doctor Seems To Think That 17 Diet Cokes Per Day Is Too Much. In Case You Ever Consider Getting Off Caffeine Yourself, Let Me Explain The Process. You Begin By Sitting Motionlessly In A Desk Chair. Then You Just Keep Doing That Forever Because Life Has No Meaning.

Ratbert (as Lab Rat, To Scientist): Doc, We Have To Talk. Every Day You Feed Me Over A Hundred Pounds Of Macaroni And Cheese. At First I Thought You Were Just Being A Good Host. But Lately I've Been Thinking It Could Be Something Far More Sinister.