The Best Revenge Is Living Well.

Well, Sometimes We Do Actually Have To Get Up Early, But A Man Will Always Trade Sleep For Sex.

See, The Thing Of It Is, There's A Lot Of Ugly People Out There Walking Around But They Don't Know They're Ugly Because Nobody Actually Tells Them.

The Hardest Thing In Comedy Is To Have The Biggest Laugh At The End, And It’s The Most Satisfying Thing.

What Would The World Be Like If People Said Whatever They Were Thinking, All The Time, Whenever It Came To Them? How Long Would A Blind Date Last? About 13 Seconds, I Think. Oh, Sorry, Your Rear End Is Too Big. That's Ok, Your Breath Stinks Anyway. See You Later.

What's The Deal With Ovaltine? It Comes In A Round Container, You Put It In A Round Glass, Why Don't They Call It Roundtine?