The American Arrives In Paris With A

Condensed Milk Is Wonderful. I Don't See How They Can Get A Cow To Sit Down On Those Little Cans.

My Father Never Raised His Hand To Any One Of His Children, Except In Self-defense.

An Actor's Popularity Is Fleeting. His Success Has The Life Expectancy Of A Small Boy Who Is About To Look Into A Gas Tank With A Lighted Match.

Life, In My Estimation, Is A Biological Misadventure That We Terminate On The Shoulders Of Six Strange Men Whose Only Objective Is To Make A Hole In One With You.

Some Movie Stars Wear Their Sunglasses Even In Church. They're Afraid God Might Recognize Them And Ask For Autographs.