That Myspace Is The Story Of The

I'm Quitting The Business Today. I'm Going To Open Up An Appliance Store, I've Always Really Been Into Toasters. I'm Giving It All Up.

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

You Have To Learn The Crowd. I Just Pay Attention To Them So I Can Make Sure I Can Make Them Laugh.

You Can't Become Tempted If You Just Give In A Little Quicker.

True Love Is When You're Cheating On A Person But The Thought Of Them Still Makes Your Eyes Smile!