Television Is Like The American Toaster, You

Even My Failures Make Money And Become Classics A Year After I Make Them.

Some Of Our Most Exquisite Murders Have Been Domestic, Performed With Tenderness In Simple, Homey Places Like The Kitchen Table.

There Are Several Differences Between A Football Game And A Revolution. For One Thing, A Football Game Usually Lasts Longer And The Participants Wear Uniforms. Also, There Are Usually More Casualties In A Football Game. The Object Of The Game Is To Move A Ball Past The Other Team's Goal Line. This Counts As Six Points. No Points Are Given For Lacerations, Contusions, Or Abrasions, But Then No Points Are Deducted, Either. Kicking Is Very Important In Football. In Fact, Some Of The More Enthusiastic Players Even Kick The Ball, Occasionally.

Disney Has The Best Casting. If He Doesn't Like An Actor He Just Tears Him Up.

I’m Frightened Of Eggs, Worse Than Frightened; They Revolt Me. That Round White Thing Without Any Holes, And When You Break It, Inside There’s That Yellow Thing, Round, Without Any Holes… Brrr! Have You Ever Seen Anything More Revolting Than An Egg Yolk Breaking And Spilling Its Yellow Liquid? Blood Is Jolly, Red. But Egg Yolk Is Yellow, Revolting. I’ve Never Tasted It.