This Is What Makes Me Happy: Remembering

I Don't Mind 800 Million Chinese Drinking A Bottle [of Coca-cola] A Day, But I Don't Want Them To Bring Back The Empties.

Writing Humor In My Column Isn't As Dangerous As Performing It. If I Fail In Front Of A Live Audience, The Humiliation Is As Great As Anything A Human Being Can Suffer.

Whether It's The Best Of Times Or The Worst Of Times, It's The Only Time We've Got.

... I Could Have Said Something Profound, But You Would Have Forgotten It In 15 Minutes - Which Is The Afterlife Of A Graduation Speech.

War For Most Men Is Not Fighting Or Marching In Parades. It Is Sitting Around Somewhere Wondering What The Hell You Are Supposed To Be Doing.