Start Every Day Off With A Smile

I've Been Drunk Only Once In My Life. But That Lasted For Twenty-three Years.

I Never Drink Water Because Of The Disgusting Things That Fish Do In It.

I Must Have A Drink Of Breakfast.

So Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing, I Will Make Mine Whiskey.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.