I'm Not Really A Music Guy.

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.

For A Long Time The People At My Shows Were Sort Of The Pantera-tattoo Trucker Guys, Really Cool Dudes, But I Don't Know What Happened To Them. That's The Crowd That I Like, The Ones That Don't Get So Offended Just To Be Offended.

I'm Sitting In The Bus Station, Minding My Own Business, Reading 'ta-da!' Magazine; A Magazine By And For Gay Magicians, But That's A Different Story.

I Don't Watch Reality Tv.

If I Had A Kid, I'd Give Him A Name That Would Make Everyone Would Want To Say His Name. I'd Call Him, Pizza-pussy-santa. I Would! Cause Everybody Likes One Of Those Things.