My Health, Thank God, Has Kept My

I Was With George Washington At Valley Forge, Sitting Around Before An Attack... Gimme A Break. That's Over 70 Years Ago Already.

I Always Enjoy Being Full Of Fun, But I Have My Serious Moments. Some Women Go For The Studious Kind Of Guy, I Certainly Was Not That. If A Girl Is Looking For Somebody Different And Maybe A Little More Exciting For Themselves - Someone More On The Fun Side, I Would Suggest That They Look For A Type Like Don Rickles.

I've Never Gambled A Dime. Never, In All My Years In Vegas.

I Don't Really Tell A Joke, I React To Situations. The Whole Thing Is Just Looking At Somebody And Showing All Our Weaknesses And Exaggerating Them, And That's How It Becomes Funny.

When You Do See Me, You'll Get The Idea From When You See Me That It's All Off The Top Of My Head. A Lot Of It Is A Beginning, Middle And The End. But It's Different Every Night. I Have A Lot Of Jokes In My Back Pocket I've Said Over The Years.