Some Mornings, It's Just Not Worth Chewing

I Ran Five Miles Today. Then, Finally, I Said, 'here, Lady...take Your Purse.'

My Girlfriend Said, Just Buy Me Something Crazy And Expensive, Something I Don't Even Need! So, I Signed Her Up For Radiation Treatment.

I Asked My Girlfriend, 'will You Marry Me?' She Said, 'we'll Have To Ask My Father.' So We Had A Seance And Jack Ruby Says, 'hello!'

They Call Me Good Time Emo. Because I Love A Good Time! And My Name Is Emo.

I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How Often Do You Find A Corpse?