Ambiguity — The Devil's Volleyball.

Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They Are.

I Like To Play Chess With Bald Men In The Park Although It's Hard To Find 32 Of Them.

Thinking Up Jokes Is Easy. The Hard Part Is Trying Them Out On Stage, Because You Never Know If They're Funny Until You Get There. Not One Comedian In The World Ever Really Knows.

I Grew Up In An Era When Strange Adults Would Grab Me On The Street And Say: 'don't Do That.' You Never See That These Days. 'hi, We Took The Liberty Of Spanking Your Son.' Oh Thanks, My Hand Was Getting Worn.

Interviewers Always Used To Ask Me About My Pageboy Haircut, And It Drove Me Nuts: It Almost Made Me Suspect That There Was Something Strange About It. So I Cut Off My Pageboy.