Ambiguity — The Devil's Volleyball.

Thinking Up Jokes Is Easy. The Hard Part Is Trying Them Out On Stage, Because You Never Know If They're Funny Until You Get There. Not One Comedian In The World Ever Really Knows.

When I Was A Kid My Dad Would Say, "emo, Do You Believe In The Lord?" I'd Say, "yes!" He'd Say, "then Stand Up And Shout Hallelujah!" So I Would ... And I'd Fall Out Of The Roller Coaster.

I'm Not A Fatalist; Even If I Were, What Could I Do About It?

Santa Fe Is Fun To Visit, But Property There Will Cost You An Arm And A Dillo.

You Should Get Married. When I Was Younger, I Was Into The Fame And Fortune, And Now I Realize That A Loving Wife And Happy Children - That's Life's Greatest Consolation Prize.