Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

It's Strange, Isn't It. You Stand In The Middle Of A Library And Go Aaaaagghhhh' And Everyone Just Stares At You. But You Do The Same Thing On An Aeroplane, And Everyone Joins In.

Two Fish In A Tank, One Says To The Other - You Drive I'll Man The Guns.