So I Rang Up A Local Building

So I Was In Tesco's And I Saw This Man And Woman Wrapped In A Barcode. I Said "are You Two An Item?"

So I Knocked On The Door At This Bed & Breakfast And A Lady Stuck Her Head Out Of The Window And Said: 'what Do You Want', I Said, 'i Want To Stay Here'. She Said, 'well Stay There' And Shut The Window.

Our Ice Cream Man Was Found Lying On The Floor Of His Van Covered With Hundreds And Thousands. Police Say That He Topped Himself.

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".