Smile First Thing In The Morning. Get

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull.

Never Eat At A Place Called 'moms', But If The Only Other Place In Town Has A Sign That Says 'eats', Go Back To Moms.

A Rich Man Is Nothing But A Poor Man With Money.

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.

Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey? Death, Where Is Thy Sting?