Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To

Love Is A Lot Like A Backache. It Doesn't Show Up On X-rays, But You Know It's There.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.

It's Hard For Me To Get Used To These Changing Times. I Can Remember When The Air Was Clean And Sex Was Dirty.

Should I Be The One To Play God? We're Both About The Same Age, But We Grew Up In Different Neighborhoods.

When Asked In His Late 90s If His Doctor Knew He Still Smoked, Burns Said, 'no ... He's Dead.'