Rick Perry Unveiled His New Tax Plan.

What's Going On With The Oakland Raiders? You Know, I Don't Want To Say The Raiders Are Bad, But You Know, Now, A Lot Of Fans Are Painting Their Faces Just So They Won't Be Recognized.

I Went To See The Terminator Movie The Other Night. Every Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Came On The Screen This Guy In Front Of Me Went 'booo! Booo!' And Was Throwing Stuff. I Had To Say 'governor Davis Just Shut Up And Sit Down!'

Johnny Walker, The American That Fought For The Taliban, Is Now Talking With An Arabic Accent. Have You Heard Him? It's Ridiculous. I Know How We Should Handle Him. Let's Bring Him Back Here And Take Him To Cleveland Browns Stadium And Dress Him Up As A Referee. They'll Know How To Take Care Of Him!

Riding A Ducati Is Like Having Sex With An Aerobics Instructor - You Know, I'm Exhausted And Panting And It's Going: 'are You Done, Already?'

John Kerry And Ralph Nader Met Face-to-face, It Was A Historic Meeting. Astronomers Said Today Their Meeting Actually Created What Is Called A 'charisma Black Hole.'