If Jay Spent As Much Time Studying

For The First Time The People Of Iraq Are United. Today On Cnn I Saw A Kurd, A Shiite And A Member Of The Republican Guard Coming Together To Cart Off A Big Screen Tv.

The Fcc Is Considering Lifting The Ban On Cellphone Calls On Planes. The Good News Is You'll Be Able To Make Calls During Your Flight. The Bad News? The Person Sitting Next To You Will Be Able To Make Cellphone Calls During Yourflight.

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

Scientists In Australia Are Working On Making Biodegradable Car Parts Out Of Hemp. This Might Get Confusing. When Someone Says, Roll Up The Window, They Might Mean, Roll Up The Window!

Authorities In New York City Have Foiled A Plot By Terrorists To Blow Up The Holland Tunnel. There Was One Awkward Moment When Officials Informed President Bush The Holland Tunnel Was Safe. Bush Then Thanked The Dutch Authorities For All Their Help.