Scientists Think They Can Now Clone An

They Determined Who Got The First Question By A Coin Toss, To Which Sarah Palin Said, 'oh, What A Coincidence, That's How I Got Picked.'

Major League Baseball Has Asked Its Players To Stop Tossing Baseballs Into The Stands During Games, Because They Say Fans Fight Over Them And They Get Hurt. In Fact, The Florida Marlins Said That's Why They Never Hit Any Home Runs. It's A Safety Issue.

Obama Called On Americans To Have More Grandchildren. Probably So There's More Of Them To Pay Off Our Debt.

Corporations Complained About [safety] Regulations, But Let's Face It, People Walk Away From Accidents Now That Would Have Killed Them When I Was A Kid

And Some Sad News... The First Lesbian Couple To Legally Get Married In The State Of Massachusetts Has Split Up. They Cited Irreconcilable Similarities.